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Fostering Love... when they may leave

03/11/2012 16:51:00

Fostering Love...

when they may leave

I'm a foster parent and I also provide training from time to time for other foster parents. One question that I hear over and over is:

"How do I invest all that love into a child that most likely will not remain with me anyways? How can I do that and not be hurt in the end?"

Everyday, foster parents all over, open the doors of their homes to children in need of safe, caring support. For many reasons, it is sometimes essential for children to be removed from their biological families in order to be safely cared for. It may be for reasons of abuse, neglect, substance abuse... but for whatever reason, the ultimate goal remains - to provide safe refuge for hurting children.

Foster parents are special people who open their homes, families and lives to taking in children, meeting them where they are, and providing all that they need to thrive in life. Sometimes the stay of the child will be very temporary, other times the child may remain for months or even years. Besides opening their homes, foster families open their hearts as well.

Opening your heart to a child that may not remain in your care is a risk. Is it a risk worth taking? It is but it is important to understand from the beginning that this may hurt in the end. The pain of losing a child you love is ok to experience. It is not wrong. It does not mean you failed at "your job" and it doesn't mean that you are "not strong enough to be a foster parent".

It means that you are fabulous at what you do. Not everyone can love a child that is not "their own". Thats ok too but as foster parents, we agree to give love to children as if they were our own, while remaining aware that they are not.

How then can we possibly love and let go and be ok?

When we understand, I mean really understand that ALL children require and deserve unconditional love, respect and acceptance, then it becomes unquestionable as to whether we should take the risk in offering our love... and possibly hurting in the end. It is however, vitally imprtant that we also remain in the knowledge that these are not our children. They do have other loyalties and they do want to return home for the most part, and if the time comes that it is safe for them to do so, that is best.

Our job, as foster parents and carers, is to love them while we have them. Intill in them a hope for the future, and provide them with as many tools as we can for them to be successful in life, whatever they may face. When we do these things, with the understanding of how important it really is, we find less pain, or find the pain earier to manage when we must say good-bye.

Love makes "good-bye's" harder but if what a child felt and learned in your home was that they are worth being loved, then you have bestowed on them a great fortune and they will never forget it.

Where there is breath, there is hope

03/08/2012 20:15:00

Where there is breath, there is hope

As someone who offers care and support to others, I have met with many people who start our meeting with a phrase similar to:

"I don't know if there is any hope for me, but...".

I have also heard time and time again:

"I don't know if there is any hope for my marriage, my son, my daughter, my future...".

If you are reading this, if you have a pulse, if you still have a breath within you, please know that there is hope.

Life can seem hopeless, pointless, and even unworthy of another day but there is always hope for a new day, a new hour, a new moment.

Hopelessness is an enemy that tries to rob us of our joy, our contentment, our potential and ultimately our lives.

Hopelessness is an enemy that deserves for us to go to war.

Our family and friends deserve for us to go to war on their behalf if they are caught in this fight.

Our children are worth the fight to bring them back from a place where all hope seems lost. Our youth fight a battle everyday in this world that seems to be getting harder to live in. They too are worth the battle it may take to show them the joy of life.

You are worth the fight!

You are worth whatever it takes to help you back to a life that knows joy, freedom, laughter and love.

Do you worry that there is no one who is willing to fight with you or fight for you on the days that seem harder than others?

Do not let that be your worry today.

We, at Life's Seasons, are more than willing and ready to take up this battle with you. You are not alone in your journey and whatever season you are facing, we will face it with you.

Whether you need care and support for yourself or encouragement as you come along side a loved one in their battle, we are here for you.

We wish you blessings in your life and will be here for you if you may need us somewhere along the way.

Even the tough days are worth it. Hope keeps us moving toward the days that make everything from our yesterdays worth surviving.

Blessings,

Tina Hunter

Happy New Year

01/01/2012 10:35:00

All of us at Life's Seasons wish to send Happy New Year Blessings to all of our friends and family members as well as those friends we are going to meet in 2012.

As we sit back and reflect over 2011 we will recognize that the past year brought both trials and blessings into each and everyone of our lives. No one is ever exempt from those seasons which are difficult and trying. What we do with those experiences can dictate just how we move forward from them or why we might stay stuck in the emotions that they bring. I myself am going to choose to focus on all the blessings that my family received and experienced in 2011. While it is important not to shut out and try to forget all the stresses that we also experienced, I will not let those times be a focus of regret. Are there things I am sorry for? Sure. Were there times I needed to apologize and ask for forgiveness? You bet. Are there situations I wish I had never experienced? Absolutely. But regrets? - No. Every stresser I make it through is a building block in my character, strength, endurance and education of "life". For all the moments I could "regret", I will try my best to look at them as evidence of my growth and maturity. I by far still have a long way to go in reaching perfection and I k now I will never attain such a thing on this earth... but instead of regretting the past, I'll know that anything I look back at and think "I wish I had never said, done, been part of etc., etc., I did learn from and grow in as a result of that experience. Negative experiences only go to waste if we learn nothing from them. As we go into 2012, lets focus on the blessings of 2011 and learn from the trials what we can (even if all we can start with is knowing that we have more within us than we knew we had because we did survive that trial).

If you are breathing and you are human, than know that more trials will surely be on their way this year... so will be the moments that make us smile, keep our hearts warm, and stay with us for years and years to come.

Blessings for 2012 to you, your family and your friends.